Being Unsociable is a Sign of Lack of Confidence

Being unsociable is a lot like isolating ourselves which I explained in my last post, but it has a slightly different dimension. We may stop inviting friends or family over and start completely avoiding get togethers. We may refuse offers to go out with work colleagues - or we might say we will go and then at the last minute find a "reason" not to go out.

When I was experiencing a lack of confidence, I must have used every excuse in the book to avoid social situations! I had a headache, or I couldn't get a babysitter, or I didn't have the money, were my favourite ones.

Why not take a moment now to think about what this is really about. What exactly are you scared of?

Do you have a problem with your physical appearance?

Are you over or under weight?

Are you frightened of being criticized or judged harshly?

Are you scared of messing something up? Saying or doing the "wrong" thing?

Do you see everyone else as "better" than you?

If one or more of these things are holding you back from social situations, let's think about how reasonable and accurate these fears are.

In the previous post we talked about how important it is to surround ourselves with positive people. If you are avoiding social situations because the people are critical and judgemental there are two things you can do. The first choice is to remove yourself from these social circles and make new friends. The second thing you can do is make the decision to ignore negative comments.  Yes you do have a choice! This second option works well in family situiations which are difficult to avoid.

If you are lacking confidence because of your appearance or weight, then start thinking about your positive qualities. It really is what's on the inside that matters and that's what people will judge you on. Write down 10 of your best qualities now. Are you a good listener? Are you loyal? Do you love animals? Are you a good Mom? Get creative and if you find this task difficult, think of all the compliments or praise you have ever received. Write them down and put it up somewhere you will see them everyday.

For some more techniques to change your negative thinking try my free confidence boosting video.

With very best wishes,

Simone