Can't Say No?

It's such a short word - just two little letters! How hard can it be to say? But many of us who experience low self confidence find it one of the hardest words to say. The possibility of saying no might not even consciously cross your mind, even when your whole body is crying out to say it! You might be wondering how your body tells you you want to say no? It lets you know through emotional discomfort. Through feeling low, depressed, anxious, despairing and tired. These emotional reactions are for the most part, symptoms not causes. The repercussions of ignoring your true self.

So how do we caught up with this inability to say no?

When we feel we have to please others it can become very difficult to say no, because we worry so much about what others will think about us. We worry that they might think that we are selfish, inconsiderate ordisloyal. In reality what's happening is that we are relying on that other person for our little bit of self esteem - for their praise or lack of displeasure. This may seem like a solution to our low confidence, but how long can it continue before we have completely lost ourselves? The answer is not long! When we ignore our own wishes or don't even consider them our sense of who we are shrinks. We become what others want us to be and forget to listen to our own hearts and minds.

Another problem with living in this way is that it creates deep feelings of resentment and anger. You may not be aware of them, but I can guarantee you that they are there sitting just outside of consciousness.

Learning to say no can be one of the most liberating experiences and will boost your self confidence hugely. Next time a friend or relative asks you to do something for them, before you jump into say yes, tell them you'll think about it and let them know. This will give you the valuable opportunity to actualy think about whether it's something you want to do or something that you feel you should do. If you feel you should do it think again - you are nobody's doormat! Make a choice based on what you want and what fits in with you!

With kind wishes,

Simone