Comparing Ourselves to Others

One of the things that those of us with low confidence and self esteem do way too much, is compare ourselves to other people. It's natural to compare ourselves against each other, but when our confidence is low we tend to overestimate the worth of others and underestimate our own value. This creates feelings of worthlessness, submissiveness and very often depression which compounds our low confidence levels. But this type of thinking is faulty.

No - I don't want to hear your justifications about why you are so much worse than everyone else! Accept for just a moment that this is faulty thinking and I'll tell you why it is. First off, this kind of thinking is not based in reality, but in what our mind projects onto ourself and others based on our own beliefs.

So for instance, if we have grown up with someone telling us over and over that there is something wrong with us, we come to believe it. We don't question that that judgement could be wrong. Then in our adult lives we walk around with this belief lurking deep within us, so you won't be surprised to find that you see evidence of it everywhere!

You imagine that such and such person is more beautiful, more intelligent, more popular, more confident than you, and on it goes. But are they really? Why not question it now? Think of all the beautiful celebrities that you think are better than you. Yes, they may have better looks and more money than you, but many of them have very serious personal problems as well. A lot of them are addicted to drugs, have trouble maintaining relationships, are insincere and manipluative, are in debt, have mental health problems, are estranged from their families, get burnt out, ruin their success, etc, etc.

So how much better are they than you really? Why not start building yourself up by thinking about your positive qualities and forget about what you assume other people have. In many cases we are wrong and give them too much credence! I bet if you think hard you can come up with at least a few of your best characteristics. Doing this will help you start building your confidence and focussing on what's good about you instead of comparing ourselves to others unfavourably.

Kindest regards,

Simone